Boost your Mental Game

6 Easy Steps to Self Love

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Happiness and joy in our lives start with our own relationship to ourselves.

And that relationship can grow and evolve over time, so let’s cultivate a positive, healthy, loving, and prosperous relationship with ourselves!!

Let’s practice these changes with ourselves first in the practice room! ūüöÄ

Attention : this article started as an article from Carol Bruess, PhD about how to improve relationships with other people. The article below uses some of her words and ideas, and I’ve modified it greatly to talk about our own relationships to ourselves. Please enjoy, and there are links to the original article and her work at the bottom. 

1. Change the words I’m thinking about myself.

Words matter. Not only the words we use when we speak TO ourselves, but the words we say to ourselves ABOUT ourselves.

There are three simple steps you can take here. The first is to recognize when one of these judgmental thoughts enters your head that reinforces a negative narrative. Next, stop yourself from telling this story. Finally, replace it with a more positive word or phrase.

You’ll be surprised how quickly changing your words can also change the quality of your relationship to yourself. One of my favorite phrases, which I’ll be recommitting to this year, is “They might just be right.”

2. Create tiny moments of positivity during your day.

Want to experience more connection in your day-to-day life and a healthier and more connected sense of being in the world? 

Indeed, whenever you share a tiny, positive moment with yourself — even if it’s just a warm smile in the mirror as you acknowledge yourself for existing on this planet — you unleash a cascade of positive reactions.

And that feeling you experience when you do this? It’s love. It will help you live a longer, happier, healthier life, and it has ripple effects. By creating micro-moments of positivity with yourself, you’re starting a wave of good feelings that spreads through your life and through the lives of those you encounter.

3. When you experience internal conflict, hug yourself or hold hands with yourself (really!)

When you feel internal conflict, it’s important to remember that you’re on the same team with yourself. Be nice.

This simple gesture helps you feel more connected and, as a result, less destructive when you feel conflicted.

4. Ask an open-ended question of yourself every day.

Actively listening while letting another perspective or option surface is also communication, and it’s one of the most undervalued methods of building relationships.

As a relationship social scientist with a PhD in communication, Carol Bruess has a personal pet peeve — when people say “Communication is the secret to successful relationships.”

This means listening simply to better understand the other perspective that’s coming up, and giving that part space to share their story, express their fears, articulate their hopes or just tell you what irritated or delighted them today.

One of the easiest resolutions you can make to improve any of your close relationships is to listen more, speak less, and ask open-ended questions.

5. Schedule time to spend with your best friend (AKA yourself)

Strong, quality relationships require maintenance and ongoing investment. Become friends with yourself.

Friendships have been shown to be key to our happiness and longevity, especially as we age, but even the best of them will wither if we don’t nurture them. One easy way to do this is to carve out time in your weekly or monthly schedule to connect with yourself. (Selfcare is a thing!)

6. Deliver an overdue apology to ourselves.

Trust me, you need to hear it.

Many of us — because we’re only human and imperfect — have hurt relationships in a mean, clumsy, or careless way. (This could also be something you said to yourself when you were little, or if you let someone’s harsh words become part of your inner voice.)

Keep your apology short and simple, and accept responsibility for what you did or didn’t do well. When we embrace our humility, we’re not only more likely to forgive and be forgiven but we can get a significant boost in our happiness as well.

I hope these tips help you really develop and cultivate a positive relationship with yourself - it’s the most important relationship in your life. 

And if you don’t know where to start, just pick one. (It really doesn’t matter. Progress is progress!)

Happy practicing!

Please enjoy the original article about relationships with other people :

and its author, Carol Bruess PhD

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